TV Land

After an initial burst of watching a lot of TV when I first got here, I've pretty much cut that out completely, except for a bit here and there when eating. It seems Stargate SG-1 always seems to correspond to my breakfast/lunch time. And in the evenings, its typically Mythbusters. Go figure.

But last night I had the pleasure of watching the first season of "Father Ted" on DVD. It's a pretty wacked out Irish sitcom about three outcast priests who have been assigned by the church to "Craggy Island", an isolated rock off the coast. Goofy, ridiculous but with some real genuine laugh-out-loud moments, I think it's going to bring 'feck off' into my daily lexicon for a while, much the way Deadwood did for 'cocksucker', for better or worse.

Watching the show inspired me to put together a list of my Top 10 Favorite TV Idiots:

10. Lowell Mather, "Wings"
"I give blood all the time. Just between you and me, Roy, I'll do anything for a sugar cookie. "

9. Michael Kelso, "That 70's Show"
"I wonder if that's what I'm doing right now? Sometimes my brain is doing things that I don't even know about."

8. Klinger, "M*A*S*H*"
Frank Burns: "Klinger, I want you out of that dress tonight!"
Klinger: "Never on a first date, sir!"

7. Sean Garrity, "Rescue Me"
Chief Jerry Reilly: [watching Sean Garrity and Probie playing Scrabble] "Look at this - a meeting of the minds and the minds are a no-show. "

6. Oswald Lee Harvey, "Drew Carey Show"
Drew Carey: "Hey, what were you doing upstairs?"
Oswald Lee Harvey: "I was using your blow dryer to defrost my crotch."

5. Woody Boyd, "Cheers"
Diane: "Methinks the man does protest too much."
Woody: "Excuse me, Miss Chambers, but shouldn't it be 'I thinks?'"
Carla: "Not in your case, Woody."

4. Entire cast except for Stewie and Brian, "Family Guy"
Chris Griffin: "Dad, what's the blowhole for?"
Peter Griffin: "I'll tell you what it's not for. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World."

3. Father Dougal, "Father Ted"
Ted: "You can praise God with sleep, y'know, Dougal...
Dougal: "There's lots of ways to praise God aren't there Ted? Like that time you told me to praise him just by leaving the room...."
Ted: "Yes, that was a good one..."

2. Jayne Cobb, "Firefly"
Jayne: "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."
---
Mal: "Are you offering me a trade?"
Jayne: "A trade!? Hell, it's theft! This is the best damn gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy than what you got."
Mal: "What I got? She has a name."
Jayne: "So does this!" (caresses the gun lovingly) "I call it Vera."
Mal: "Well, my days of taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
---
Mal: "Looks can be deceiving."
Jayne: "Not as deceiving as a lowdown, dirty... deceiver."
Mal: "Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe?"
Zoe: "Had a kind of poetry to it, sir."
---
Jayne: (wearing ugly homemade hat) "How's it sit? Pretty cunning,don'tchya think?"
---
Jayne: "I'll be in my bunk"

1. Dwight Schrute, "The Office"
"Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan’s been bitching out on him. Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms."
---
"Dammit, he put my stapler in Jell-O again!"
---
"Aw, man! Am I a woman?!?"
---
"In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me. I'm dead.' Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead."
---
Dwight Schrute: "What does the female vagina look like?"
Toby: "Technically, I am in Human Resources, and Dwight was asking me about human anatomy. Um... I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly."
---
"I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like...Mozart's friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like...Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You’re gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy."

In other not-so-new-news--as it's been official for a few weeks now--Veronica Mars, the show that, in conjunction with TiVo, is most responsible for my relapse into watching TV shows again, has been cancelled. Not a terrible surprise, but disappointing. Hopefully Detroit-native Kristen Bell can spin her short-lived success and brilliant performances on the show into a promising career elsewhere, along with her other castmates, particularly Jason Dohring, Enrico Colantoni and Percy Daggs.

I haven't watched any new episodes of Veronica Mars or any of my other current shows (Heroes & The Office, mainly) since I came over here, and we have a monthly bandwidth limit on our ISP, so I haven't been downloading them. But when Justin comes to visit in a few weeks, he's supposed to be bringing me a few discs to help me get caught back up. In the eternal words of Eric Cartman.... "Super-sweet!"